Though office romances may be common, the workplace Christmas party isn’t the best place to express interest in a coworker, experts agree.
Workplace holiday parties — often a hotbed of flirtatious glances and liquor-laden behaviour you can’t get away with at the office — could warrant extra caution this season.
Just in time for the holidays, a mistletoe chill is settling in across the country ascomedian Bill Cosby and former CBC host Jian Ghomeshi make headlines for allegations of sexual assault.
Add to this a flurry of recent stories detailing workplace harassment, among themToronto poet Emma Healey and Globe and Mail contributor Leah McLaren, that put HR departments and managers on high alert.
Ghomeshi’s alleged behaviour even sparked Levitt and Grosman LLP, an employment law firm, to circulate an email of holiday do’s and don’ts, reminding recipients that “you probably aren’t in the same league as Jian Ghomeshi when it comes to bad behaviour in the workplace but you still need to keep yourself in check at the company holiday party or you could end up fired with cause.”
Experts say the heightened attention to unwanted advances has quietly made many nervous about their behaviour at the office holiday party.
“When these issues arise, people start to look at what is happening at their workplace and what is appropriate or not,” says Sandy Welsh, a University of Toronto professor specializing in sexual harassment and employment.
Though it may seem obvious, Welsh says careful consideration should also be paid before you let your hands wander or overly suggestive remarks slip out your mouth.
“You’re still at work. You’re still with your colleagues,” she points out. “Have fun, but remember it doesn’t mean anything goes. It’s not a place to pick up people.”
Haythe was accused of sexually harassing a colleague at a party meant to celebrate the merger of Toronto firm Tory Tory DesLauriers & Binnington, and Haythe’s firm, Haythe & Curley.
Haythe publicly apologized for his actions a day after the incident and shortly after was dismissed from the firm. The newly named Tory Haythe quickly became Torys LLP.
Welsh, who recalled the incident, says, “certainly having your party behaviour land on the front page of the Toronto Star is not something you should be aiming for.”
Lawyer Howard Levitt agrees.
In the wake of company parties, he says he is often approached by clients who have been “a criminal of mistletoe.” They’ve felt emboldened outside of the office or when fueled with alcohol and are now facing the consequences of their actions.
He recalls one incident where a Christmas party attendee spiked a coworker’s drink with a party drug, causing her to dance on tables and behave erratically. The culprit was fired.
In other scenarios, he’s seen people misinterpret the flirtations of others or “in the cold aftermath” of a party regret their actions and decide that whatever happened wasn’t consensual after all.
If you want to make a move on a coworker, don’t do it at a holiday party, he stresses.
He suggests “asking them out for lunch in an email where there is consent.”
Etiquette expert Karen Cleveland echoes his sentiments, but admits “lots of really great romances blossom at work.”
“If you’re going to flirt, you want to make sure it falls on a good audience,” she advises. “Make a point to chat with the person and make great conversation, but you can’t hole up in a corner all night with one person without people talking about it. You will be a topic of hot office gossip.”
For those who happen to witness an unwanted sexualized remark or someone’s wandering hands, Welsh says there is a responsibility to act.
“Don’t let someone get away with it,” she says, noting that sometimes actions are dismissed because people are in “momentary shock.” “If you see a colleague being treated in a way that is inappropriate then we all have a responsibility to tell the person behaving in that way to stop.”
See Original Article: http://www.thestar.com/life/2014/12/02/sexual_assault_stories_put_a_chill_on_office_party_behaviour.html
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